Monday through Friday is all the same.
- 8:00 AM The alarm goes off. I turn it off and fall back to sleep
- 8:30 AM A second alarm goes off because I can’t be trusted with the snooze button. I have to carefully slide my arm out from underneath Bitsy who is still snoozing next to me. With my cellphone I scroll through the Buzzfeed mobile site for about two minutes before Zephyr appears. The cat knows when I’m awake and he comes from wherever to sit on my face. Never fails. Pushing him off, I reluctantly haul myself out of bed.
- 8:45 AM Feed the cats. This involves lifting the lid to the giant tupperware container. They get access for a few hours depending on when I come back by. Get Boy and Ballerina dressed/fed/in the car. I cheat at home school. My retired school teacher Aunt tutors them. I try to listen to my music and tune the kids out. Rarely works. Mornings are not my thing.
- 9:10 AM Kick the kids out of the car to learn because knowledge is power. A PSA told me so. Answer Bitsy’s twenty questions on the way home. “Where is Ballerina? Where is Boy? Where is Daddy?” She never remembers the answers.
- 9:30 AM Coffee and feed the dogs. Khaleesi is on a special refrigerated diet I have to add medicine to daily. Inigo Montoypug is insanely jealous so I’m forced to mix some wet food into his dry kibble. COFFEE!
- 9:45 AM – 11:45 AM Bitsy owns the television and living room. All her toys explode across the floor and I’m forced to watch copious amounts of Mickey Mouse Clubhouse with a smattering of Sheriff Callie and Bubble Guppies. Prime writing time and coffee enjoyment.
- Noon Retrieve minions from school
- 12:30 PM Lunch and chores. Mr. Blackwood can come home to a semi uncluttered domicile. I can’t work miracles.
- 1-3 PM Bitsy naps while Boy and Ballerina amuse themselves quietly. Most of the time they end up in the basement annoying their Grandmother *waves at Mom* Write more.
- 3-4 PM PfT! Bitsy didn’t go to sleep at 1. Try 2. She’s still asleep.
- 4 PM Cook. *groan*
Sometime before 5 PM Mr. Blackwood usually appears if not sooner. We consume the meal, except Boy who complains and eats a PB&J.
- 6 – 8 PM Ferret free time. Mutant slinky kittens run amok! Kids play. Grown ups watch the DVR. I’m usually multitasking on the laptop as well; writing and chatting with friends on FB.
- 8 PM Every living thing under the age of thirty has to go to bed. I’m serious. Go to bed.
- 9:45 PM Still trying to convince them to go to sleep. Mr. Blackwood turns into a pumpkin and passes out.
- 10:15 PM Finally, I am the last one standing. What to do, what to do. Hmm. Read, write, or watch a movie? Roll the dice and leave it up to chance. Maybe I’ll dance Gangem Style.
- Midnight – 1 AM My eyes won’t cooperate anymore. Time to sleep.
Weekends are chaos and anyone’s guess. Schedule schmedule.